Tell me
by akami
Summary: AU Storyline, Azula centric. What if the events in Azula's childhood caused her to hate her father rather than her hoping to keep his favor? A what-if story into Azula's life as she struggles to break free from her father's oppressive hold.
1. Prologue

Author's note: _Gu Zheng_ is a Chinese style harp-like instrument that belongs to the zither family of string instruments, though I only call it harp-like because I can.

--

When people saw her as she strode confidently to wherever destination she was headed to, all they saw was the prodigy child of Fire Lord Ozai and the perfect Princess of the Fire Nation. They compared her to her failure of a brother, the banished prince, and nodded to themselves as they considered her to have been blessed and her own brother cursed. She was obviously the favored child of the two siblings, and they always assumed that her childhood had been filled with nothing but praise from her father, and that he must be the first thing she thinks of when the word childhood crosses her mind. People always believed what they wanted to believe, and she never cared enough to correct them because who were they and what did they matter to her?

On the contrary, whenever thoughts of her childhood came to mind, the first thing she always did was categorize her childhood into two parts: before the fire, and after the fire. When she thought of her life before the fire, she always remembered the gentle, comforting touches of the woman who gave birth to her; the one who looked at her with the most loving smiles reserved only for her and her brother. She had always paid close attention to her mother, hoping that when she grew up she would be _just like her_.

The next thing she remembered was the scowling face of her older brother; the unburned, gentle, yet still angry face of her one and only brother. He had always hated whenever she followed him around like a seal-pup turtle, but he always kept his pace slow so she was never too far away, and whenever she fell, he was always the first to run to her side and pick her up. She affectionately called him Zuzu, and though he hated the name, his name had been her _first_ word, and he accepted it with a pride only an older brother could have.

Next were the two most important people in the world to her besides her mother and brother: her best friends Ty Lee and Mai. They were her first friends that were the same age as her, and one of the first to treat her like a real person and not a member of the royal family. She thought fondly back to the games they played together with Zuzu, and not for the first time, wished she could travel back to that time when everything was more simple and a lot more _free_.

Before the fire, there was something that held a higher slot in her memory than the flame that her father loved. Whenever she passed the courtyard that housed the turtle ducks, she would always pause for a second or two and listen intently for the sound of the string instrument that now existed solely in her memory. The soft, haunting notes would drift by, and her eyes would soften almost inconceivably as she thought fondly of the music lessons between mother and daughter; the private time that she had cherished and wished to never end.

Her fond memories ended there, and everything that she recalled from her childhood after that was based around the fire that haunted her every move and the harsh, cold touch that came from the man she knew as her father. These memories were those that were _after the fire_. Her eyes would gain a faraway look as she remembered the countless hours of training, the rift between her beloved mother and brother caused by the fire that burned everything it touched, and the lost years of childhood that she could never gain back. The fire was the cause of everything, though if she dug a bit deeper she knew that it was more like _her father_ was the reason that everything turned out all wrong.

As she continued to dwell on her past, though more specifically on her father, her thoughts turned more and more bitter and she drudged up her memories with a sense of detachment that she knew was her own defense mechanism. She had learned early on it was better to look at things without feeling anything from them; it lessened the pain to a tolerable dull ache that she so skillfully now ignored.

Her father…The first thing that he had taken away from her was her mother. Ever since he had discovered her _gift_ with the fire when she was around five, she had been thrown into a training regime that was made for someone double her age. He was molding her into the perfect weapon, and at that time she hadn't known any better and had followed him without question because he was her father and _he loved her, and merely wanted the best for her, didn't he?_

The private music lessons with her mother were a far and distant dream, and all she caught from her mother were the worried glances thrown at her as she followed her father obediently. She yearned to reach out and grab her mother's gentle hands; longed for the gentle touch that would take away the pain that her daily lessons with her father caused. He was not a patient man, and though she was a genius in the art, one mistake and a harsh flame to the back would correct any errors made on her part. Any sign of weakness and she would be further punished with another whip. She learned quickly to hide her pain from anyone, adopting a mask of indifference for each and everything merely because it was easier than trying to explain to her mother why she always moved so slowly when _she knew she was supposed to be at the table fifteen minutes ago._

As the years passed, the close relationship between mother and daughter had drifted further apart as her father stepped more on her life, and though she wanted nothing more than to run into her mother's loving arms, the stern face of her father stopped her cold and she merely learned to glare at the woman every time treacherous thoughts of crying to her entered her mind. Her mother could only watch helplessly from the sidelines as her baby girl was pulled further and further away. And before she could reconcile with her mother, before she could tell her she still loved her and '_please don't ever leave me?'_ something happened. Her only cousin was dead, and then shortly after, her grandfather was dead, and then her father was declared the new Fire Lord, and the woman she still loved fiercely was _gone_ and a small part of her that was untouched by the hate imposed from her father died.

Around the same time she had begun to lose her mother, she had started to lose her brother as well. She was a true prodigy they had called her, and though she had beamed with pride at their words, her brother would scowl darkly at her, and she knew that this was different than his normal scowl. He boiled with jealousy at the ease she learned the forms, and would merely glare when she tried to show off the new moves that their father had taught her earlier that week.

'_LOOK ZUZU! Look what I learned,' _she would call to him, and though he always watched as she performed her move perfectly, she never received the praise she so highly sought from her brother. She pushed herself harder and harder, hoping to impress him with her skill as he struggled to keep up with her, and she unconsciously widened the gap between them until it turned into a chasm and _no she didn't mean for it to happen_ _but it did and she wanted to take it back and 'Zuzu, please don't hate me, please?'_

Even though he envied her, she still loved her brother. She tried to help him control the fire that came easily to her, but he pushed her away and she dealt with it like any normal child who didn't understand what was happening: with insults and snide remarks. As they grew older, her words grew harsher and his hate grew deeper and her father encouraged their sibling rivalry and she grabbed onto it because it was turning into the only thing she knew. _'You'll never catch up to me' _she had sneered to him, while secretly in her head she begged him to step up and exceed her because she didn't want to be alone anymore; he was her older brother and she wanted to follow him because he was _older and she looked up to him more than she ever let on._

And then one day, he had overstepped his boundaries in a war meeting and had been banished, doomed to forever search the world for a legendary relic that hadn't been seen in over 100 years: the Avatar. She had been there in the sidelines during that fateful Agni Kai, and though there was something akin to delight on her face as she watched her older brother burned by their _dear father_, if anyone cared to look closer, past that mask and the walls that surrounded her, they would have seen the horror in her eyes and the spark inside her dull even more. As it was, her mask was strong enough to fool everyone, including the Fire Lord, and no one noticed the pain that only she herself could barely see.

As she had watched him step into the hulking metal ship that would become his prison, her face betrayed no emotion. For a brief second their eyes connected, and though she tried to convey to him the feeling of loss she felt, she knew that whatever bond they had had as young children was critically severed and his one good eye had coldly glared at her before he turned and disappeared into his new home. He saw nothing but a selfish, arrogant girl that had something he always wanted, the favor of that one person whose opinion meant the world to him: their father.

She had stared at the metal ship as it carried away her older brother and coincidentally her fuddy duddy Uncle, and even when it was long gone and everyone who had gathered to see the banished prince had left, she had stood there, staring long and hard at nothing and feeling more alone than she had ever felt in a long, long time.

Sometime in between when she had lost both her mother and her brother, she had lost her two best friends as well, though her memories were unclear on when that had happened. All she remembered was attending the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls with them shortly after her mother's disappearance, and then one day she was pulled back home and she never saw them again.

Months had passed, and then her brother had been banished and there remained only two things that still kept that little bit of hope in her heart alive: her mother's _Gu Zheng_ that she secretly hid in one of the abandoned rooms of the palace, and her fire that offered a warmth that no one else could give her.

Despite having only around a few months of practice with the harp-like instrument, she knew it like the back of her hand; she was a true prodigy and excelled at everything that she did. She had memorized the movements her mother performed as she would pluck the strings expertly and she herself could easily mimic the actions. For a few minutes every day, she would be whisked back to the days when everything was alright with her world, back when everything she held close to her heart held her closely back. All too soon however, the notes would fade, and everything would come crashing down and she would glance at the instrument sadly, before quickly easing her face back into the mask of nothing. She would then cover the object with a cloth, and with the utmost care, would carry it back into its hiding place, and she would leave the room for the day knowing that if she disappeared for too long, one of her advisors would come looking for her and they would know and then they would take it away.

And then, after a particularly harsh training session in which her father had overlooked the entire lesson, making her practice every move until it was perfect because perfection was all he sought from her, she had limped tiredly to the room, hoping to lose herself to the past and away from this hell she now called her life. The first sign that something had been wrong was that the door to the room was slightly ajar. She felt the dread seep into her heart as she pushed herself into the open space, because she knew, always, _always_ to close the door behind her and to never, _ever_ leave it open. A quick glance around and she noted that the room looked the same as always: boxes were lined up against the wall, with a few scrolls lying around the floor and even the dust looked untouched. She, however, knew better.

With heavy footsteps that seemed to echo all around her, she approached the small crevice in the wall that housed her secret treasure. She kneeled painfully and knew without looking that it would no longer be there. Tears, something that she hadn't shed in a long time ran down her face as she blindly reached into the empty space, hoping beyond hope that no, it was just her imagination and _it would still be there, it was just misplaced_. She sat there for an unknown amount of time. Sat there until her legs had gone numb, matching the feeling of numbness that had spread throughout the rest of her body, until finally she took in a deep, shaky breath before standing up slowly. She wiped at her face angrily, and with one last glance at the hole in the wall that now symbolized her own heart, she headed for the exit and left the room, closing and locking the door behind her. There would be no reason to return here anymore. She slowly walked down the hall and felt another part of her slowly fade away.

The next day, her fire had turned to a cold blue and she had clung to it because it was _all she had left and she would die before she would ever let him take that away._

People always assumed that she had a nice, easy childhood merely because she was the Princess; the prodigy; the one considered to be born under a lucky star. They never saw the way her shoulders would slump ever so slightly as she carried too much responsibility for someone her age. They never saw the pain in her eyes that were hidden by the countless walls she had created long ago so that no one could ever hurt her so badly again. They didn't realize she was drowning, and the ones that once could have saved her were now long gone, taken away from her by that one man. All they saw in her was the perfect weapon, and she let them, because sometimes that was all she herself could see.

--

Author's note: I had this crazy long rant that was too crazy long so I just removed it. I'll be brief: this is my first fanfic on the site, this is AU storyline/timeline, characters will be OOC because I'm bad at writing them in character, I tend to write really long run on sentences and tend to use italics too much, and I'm sorry if my writing is too confusing because I merely make this up as I go along. The title of the story doesn't make sense now because it ties in to the ending (yes I've already thought about it), and I can't guarantee I'll ever finish this story because I'm so bad at finishing things that I start. Though! I think this could be a one-shot but could be so much more. Oh bother. And it's annoying because I keep rereading this and I keep changing stuff and I should just stop or I'll never get very far.


	2. Chapter 1 Family Reunion

Author's note: By the way, the storyline now starts after Season 1, after the Fire Nation raid on the Northern Water tribe

Disclaimer Everything from Avatar © their respect respective owners

More Author's noting at the end (Ugh I forgot to edit this chapter before I submitted it..)

--

Despite the summons she had received from the Fire Lord earlier, there was no sense of urgency in her footsteps as she casually walked through one of the many hallways through the Royal Palace. She knew she would have some time before he would be expecting her to appear in front of him, and she deliberately took the roundabout way to the Fire Lord's throne room.

She was tempted to visit the main courtyard, but knew _that_ would be pushing her luck and instead turned down another hallway. She soon found herself stepping through the familiar room surrounded by fire. Any lesser person would have faltered at the intense flames that seemed to engulf them as they progressed further down the pathway, but she continued onward, head held high and steps as confident as if she was taking a light stroll through the Royal City.

Finally, she found herself in front of the wall of fire that surrounded the Fire Lord and kneeled before the dark silhouette seen through the inferno.

"You summoned me, my Lord?" she inquired, keeping her voice neutral.

Silence greeted her, and she briefly wondered if she had taken too much time with her detour around the palace. She remained kneeling however, and knew that he was merely testing her.

Minutes passed, and she distracted herself by listening to the roar of the flames that burned all around her. This was a clash of wills between father and daughter and though her face remained as passive as usual, in her mind she smirked with satisfaction knowing she had indeed annoyed him with her tardiness. If it had been anyone else, she knew the Fire Lord would have burned them on the spot. But because it was her, she knew he would let it slide, at least this once, though if she repeated this offense he wouldn't think twice before punishing her.

She was going through the history of the previous Fire Lords in her mind when he finally decided to speak, and there was no break in thought as she switched from the exploits of Fire Lord Sozin to concentrating on the words of Fire Lord Ozai.

"Yes, my child, I did indeed call for you," his words echoed throughout the chamber, and he paused for a few seconds before continuing. She did not react and merely waited patiently for his orders.

"I have received word from my men of the unsuccessful raid on the Northern Water peasants, and have discovered that your treacherous Uncle betrayed his country and helped the peasants defend against General Zhao and his men. Your useless brother has also failed to capture the Avatar. I believe this is the perfect opportunity for you to prove your worth to me. You are to go and find them and bring them back to be locked away where they can no longer tarnish the royal name."

During his speech, she had memorized every word and filed it away later for safe keeping. When he finished, she responded with an obedient "Yes, my Lord," and remained kneeling until he dismissed her.

"Go. You will leave immediately. I expect the best from you. Do not disappoint me," his voice boomed at her and she nodded once before standing and exiting the room.

--

He watched her as she disappeared past the curtain and frowned to himself as his thoughts turned to evaluate his daughter. He would be a fool to not admit that she was indeed a prodigy; she was barely fourteen and had already mastered most firebending forms that benders twice her age still had trouble performing, not to mention the blue that was her signature flame.

It was not only her natural talent that worried him, however. Years ago, she had shown the potential to follow in his footsteps, and with a little refining, would have been worthy of becoming the heir to the throne. He had deliberately taken away the things that she held attachments to in order to show her what a liability they could become and the results had been beyond what he had expected.

Her concentration and use of fire had increased exponentially, and although before she had shown the potential to follow in his footsteps, she had lacked the drive needed in order to be a great leader. But that all changed after he had removed that ridiculous trinket she had tried to keep hidden from him. He had known about it, and had allowed her to continue running to it before snatching it away when she was most vulnerable. After that, her flame had turned into a bright blue, a rare occurrence that was hardly seen in any firebender, and she had proceeded to follow him unwaveringly. His plan had worked, and that had been the extra push she had needed in order to grow to her full potential. Unfortunately for him however, it had worked a little _too_ well, and everyday he found himself more and more on edge as she grew more powerful.

He knew it would only be a matter of time before she would challenge him, and so he decided to send her on this mission to capture his worthless brother and equally worthless son. She had never shown an attachment to her Uncle, and he knew that she harbored ill feelings towards her brother; they had never gotten along as children, he had made sure of that. He had his doubts though, and wanted to test how she would handle them. If she showed any signs of betraying him, he would not hesitate to end her like any other traitor.

--

Despite the calm mask she kept on her face as she let her feet automatically walk her back to her room, her mind was racing with thoughts as she recalled the order her father had given her. She was finally going to leave the capital, and most importantly, she was going to see her brother again. Contrary to what the Fire Lord believed, there was no _real_ hate in her for her obviously confused brother. Now that she was older and far wiser, she could understand why her brother had acted the way he did. It seemed that everything in her life always seemed to revolve her father, and _he_ was the only one person she loathed with her full being. Compared to her hate for _him_, everything else was trivial.

Throughout the years, she had deliberately followed her father unquestioningly in order to gain the knowledge she needed to be a master fire bender. She had worked long and hard and had made many, _many_ sacrifices in order for her to achieve this. He had wanted the best, and she had given him her best, _and so much more_. She had learned to trap in her emotions, and merely based her actions on what she knew her father would approve of. None of this mirrored what she truly felt, but sometimes she found herself losing _herself_ to the monster her father had created, and that scared her more than he ever could. And so she remembered those memories _before the fire_ and held onto them more fiercely than ever, while at the same time carrying out his commands without a second thought. These conflicts in her mind were tearing her apart, but she was strong, and even if she had to do everything by herself, she would.

She knew her plan was starting to backfire though. She had been perfect, but it seemed that even perfect was _too_ much. She could see the way he was starting to look at her; how he was starting to consider her a threat to his throne. And who wouldn't? Not only did she possess a cunning, cold and calculating intelligence, she also had the firebending skill to back her up. Along with that, she had the ability to summon lightning, something almost as rare as her blue flames. It seemed that no matter what she did, he would never be happy with the results. She was either too weak, or too strong and Agni forbid him for settling for something in between.

She had no illusions on her father's true motives for sending her on this mission but she was looking forward to it. She would follow his orders, yes, and she would find her brother, but what she did _after_ would be another story. He didn't realize he was doing her a favor by sending her away from the palace. She had done all she could from the comfort of her home, but now it was time to branch out and dive head first into carrying out her plans she had drawn up so long ago. There was no doubt there would be spies in the crew assigned to accompany her, but she too had a few aces up her sleeves. If there was one thing she had learned from her father, it was to _always be one step ahead of the enemy._ She just hoped that _she_ was ahead of _him_ instead of the other way around.

Then there was that added twist that worked to her advantage. The fact that the Avatar was alive. This made some things so much easier and she was already rearranging her thoughts to incorporate him into her strategy. Hopefully that would be enough. If it wasn't, then at least she would have died on her own terms.

As she entered her room, she deliberately paused and took a long, hard look, memorizing every detail she could into her mind. In order to accomplish her goals, she knew it would be a while until she could return home again, though there was a higher chance she wouldn't be able to return at all. She began packing almost immediately, and before she left, she would need to tie up some loose ends, and pay one more visit to the turtle duck pond before she set off either on a journey that would ultimately destroy her, or finally save her.

--

She was no stranger to war ships and though she had traveled in one, many years ago before she attended the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls, she had never been stuck in one for so long and she found herself growing impatient as the days passed by. There were more important things to do, and though she had just barely left the capital, she could already feel herself running out of time.

She decided to spend her days wisely and practiced her firebending forms, and when those no longer held her attention, she would retire to her private quarters and draw up future plans for hypothetical situations that most likely would never happen.

Though she had a full crew on her ship, and her father had even insisted her advisors Li and Lo to travel with her, she spent the majority of her time isolated from the others. She was still trying to determine who the mole-rats on her ship were, and, she preferred the solitude anyway. She had already memorized most of the soldiers' faces, and it would only be a matter of time before she would have an idea of who the spies were.

As the vessel moved further and further away from the Royal City, a blanket of calm settled around her as she realized she was finally free from her father, at least in the physical sense. She knew he still had an iron grip on her spirit, could feel it in that darkness in her soul as it threatened to overwhelm her. She ignored it however, and though no sound escaped from her mouth as she stood alone on the front deck, a song that only she could hear flitted around in her mind, and she felt a certain peace that she hadn't felt in years.

--

To say she was disappointed at the ease she had discovered her brother's whereabouts would have been an understatement. A few questions here and there, and then she had found herself sitting inside the small empty house, or was it more like a shack? that she assumed her brother and Uncle now called their home.

She had decided to confront Zuzu alone and had left the group of royal soldiers by the docks, though she knew if she did not return by sunset they would come after her. She still had a few hours until then, and waited patiently for her brother to return from wherever he had gone.

Since she had nothing better to do, she explored the small building thoroughly, taking note of all the entrances inside just in case. There was only one door, however, and so she seated herself on the plain wooden chair next to the equally plain wooden table, and watched the door with hawk-like attention. A few seashells on the desk caught her eye, and she picked each and every one of them up, turning them slowly in her hand as memories of playing on the beaches of Ember Island ran through her head.

Before she could lose herself to the past, the door opened, and she sat up straighter as she realized her brother had returned.

"Uncle! We need to stop wasting our time going to the beach and collecting useless sea shells. Don't forget, we have to carry everything ourselves now," Zuko reprimanded the person behind him, who merely replied with a soft chuckle.

"Prince Zuko, it is always a good idea to take the time and stop to smell the roses, though in our case, to stop and collect sea shells! These will make memorable keepsakes of our travels around the world. Look at this one! I have never seen one like this before!" the older man said as he held up a particularly large seashell and practically shoved it in his nephew's face.

She went unnoticed as she silently watched the two bicker, and she took that time to take a good look at both her brother and her Uncle.

For the most part, Uncle Iroh looked the same as he always did: a short, stout, old man that possessed an all-knowing aura around him. He looked a bit older than she remembered, and maybe a bit less refined and perhaps not as in shape, but overall he hadn't changed much.

Her eyes then swiveled to her older brother, and if she didn't have such tight reins on her emotions, she would have laughed because she realized that he still had that familiar scowl on his face. Her humor faded a bit however, as she took in the sight of the red scar that covered most of his left eye and some of his left ear.

The last time she had seen him, the left side of his face had been wrapped with bandages, and this was the first time she had actually seen the result of the Agni Kai between her brother and their father. She herself was no stranger to the red angry burn marks caused by fire, though unlike her brother she easily hid hers through layers of clothing. He however, did not have such a luxury, and she knew their father had deliberately scarred him on his face to remind him of his failure. And knowing Zuzu, he probably saw it everyday and felt nothing but shame.

She drove herself away from her thoughts as she realized that they still hadn't noticed her sitting there and sighed softly, disappointed that even her uncle hadn't seen her yet. If she had been a hired assassin, both of them would have been long dead before they had even opened the door. She decided it was time to stop their argument and make her presence known.

--

"Uncle! We need to stop wasting our time going to the beach and collecting useless sea shells. Don't forget, we have to carry everything ourselves now," Zuko sighed and looked at his uncle who was following behind him. Zuko loved him, he did, but the casual way Uncle seemed to take life was not something he appreciated, especially since this was such an important matter to him. Didn't Uncle know he had to capture the Avatar in order to restore his honor?

His uncle merely laughed in reply, and instead answered with another one of his infuriating quotes about life.

"Prince Zuko, it is always a good idea to take the time and stop to smell the roses, though in our case, to stop and collect sea shells! These will make memorable keepsakes of our travels around the world. Look at this one! I have never seen one like this before!" and before Zuko could respond, a huge shell was shoved in his face and he almost fell backwards in shock.

"Don't do that!" He yelled angrily. "We need to start looking again. I had him once in my possession, and the next time I see him I will capture him," Zuko declared and his uncle merely sighed at his angry nephew.

Before Iroh could lecture the boy who was like a second son to him, a voice interrupted them and the words died in his mouth as he recognized the owner of the voice.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite brother," a cold voice greeted them, and Zuko spun around to face the intruder.

His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the familiar red color from the Fire Nation, and he felt the anger bubble inside him as he easily recognized his sister.

"What do you want?" he hissed out and moved to step forward but stopped when he felt his uncle's hand on his shoulder.

"I see banishment has done wonders with your manners, Zuzu," Azula merely replied, shaking her head in disappointment. Zuko twitched angrily at the condescending tone of her voice, but remained rooted the ground.

"Don't call me that!" he shouted, hating the nickname for it brought on too many painful memories.

"In my country, it's customary to greet someone first, and ask questions later," Azula continued coolly, easily ignoring the outburst from her brother. "A couple years of banishment has seemed to have turned you into a savage, dear Zuzu."

Zuko felt the hand on his shoulder pull him back and he glanced at his uncle through the corner of his good eye. His uncle shook his head at him, and though he didn't want to concede, he knew he had to calm down and evaluate the situation first before jumping head on. The last time he had acted before thinking, he had almost ended up freezing to death in a blizzard.

He took a deep breath to help quell his anger, and felt the grip on his shoulder loosen slightly.

"Greetings, Princess Azula. What brings you here so far from home?" their Uncle questioned her in a neutral voice, and Zuko took the opportunity to take a closer look at his younger sister.

He noted that she still had her hair in the same fashion she had when she was younger: hair pulled into a high topknot with her signature bangs split in the middle and framing the sides of her face. She was taller than he remembered, and though he couldn't really say for sure if she had ever been an innocent child (liar! a voice in his mind shouted), her face looked much more sharp than it should have and she looked far older than someone her age ever should.

He noticed she still carried herself with the same aura of confidence she had exuded even as a child, and he felt shame pass through him as he realized that compared to him, she was a perfect role model to represent the royal family of the Fire Nation. His hands clenched into tight fists, and he moved his eyes away from her, no longer wishing to see the obvious differences between the two siblings..

He concentrated on his uncle's and Azula's words as he tried to distract himself from the feelings of embarrassment that crept up around him. What he heard froze all thoughts in his mind, and his eyes widened in surprise.

"…Father has decided you have been away from home long enough. He regrets; he has lifted your ban, and wants you to come home, Zuzu."

--

Before she could stop herself, the insults had tumbled out of her mouth unconsciously and it felt like she had been sent back in time and she was eight and Zuzu was ten and they were exchanging harsh words in the courtyard again because he was jealous and she was angry and hurt. She hadn't known exactly how she would react when she saw her brother again, though she wasn't surprised when her mind fell back into familiar habits. She merely gave a mental sigh as her words riled up her brother more and more. It seemed like he hadn't changed much since she had last seen him; she could push the same buttons and he would react accordingly. Knowing this, she realized that even if she had greeted him properly, he would never have trusted or believed her anyways. She would have to twist her words around so that he would follow her without knowing he was actually _following_ her.

Even as her mouth moved and the taunts flowed out smoothly, her mind was going in circles trying to determine how to diffuse the situation and make it obvious to Zuzu and Uncle Iroh that they were in danger and were now wanted by the Fire Nation.

"In my country, it's customary to greet someone first, and ask questions later," she heard herself say, and she cringed inwardly as she finished her sentence. "A couple years of banishment has seemed to have turned you into a savage, dear Zuzu."

He did not react the way she had predicted him to, and though he did fume at her words, he surprised her when he managed to keep his cool and took a deep breath to calm himself down.

'Maybe he has changed,' she thought to herself as she re-evaluated her brother once more in her mind.

"Greetings, Princess Azula. What brings you here so far from home?" Uncle Iroh's words interrupted her own musings and she turned to face the older man.

"Indeed, I have traveled long and far in search of you two," she breezily responded, and knew that her brother was hardly paying attention to her words.

By now, she had already established a new plan to warn her brother and uncle. Hopefully, her brother had changed enough to know not bite into the obvious trap she was going to throw at him. She pointedly looked at her brother and knew that he would hear her next words.

"…Father has decided you have been away from home long enough. He regrets; he has lifted your ban, and wants you to come home, Zuzu," she lied expertly, and to say that she was disappointed at the way her brother seemed to cling onto her words would have been the understatement of the year.

--

Compared to the Royal City, whose humid nights required no extra layers, the crisp, cooler air that she assumed was due to the close proximity of the Earth Kingdom, felt refreshing, and she found herself enjoying the night sky as she stood alone on the top deck of the warship. Well, there were a few guards posted on night watch, but she ignored them easily while still keeping an eye out and stood there, arms resting on top of the railing as she stared over into the direction of darkness where she knew was the ocean.

She was turning over the events of earlier today in her mind, and was trying to figure out how to make it seem like she was going to help her uncle and Zuzu escape without raising suspicions to anyone. Her father's spies were watching her closely, and she needed to make sure they knew none of her true intentions. She knew Uncle Iroh doubted her words, and she was going to base most of her plan around him and his skepticism. She just hoped Zuzu would react accordingly.

Thoughts of her brother lead her back to recalling his reaction to her lie about their father, and she remembered wanting to both slap and hug her brother at the same time. On one hand, he was still that lost boy that had been banished years ago, still hoping to seek the praise from their father. He was a fool for wanting this, though she knew that he would never listen to her because she was the _favored_ child and he was not. On the other hand, this also meant that he hadn't changed as much as she thought he would have, and she felt comforted knowing this.

She remained in her thoughts for a while more before finally turning and heading down to the metal room that now served as her new bedroom. If everything played correctly tomorrow, she would be that much closer to reaching her goal.

--

He was in the midst of deciding what items to take back with him when he finally caught the look his uncle was giving him. He also noticed the older man hadn't even touched any of his belongings.

"What, Uncle? We're finally going home!" Zuko couldn't keep the excitement from his voice, and for once he seemed happier than his uncle. He stopped packing when he noticed his uncle was still watching him. "It's been three years, Uncle. Three, long, years," he emphasized.

Iroh sighed and nodded to his nephew. "Yes, Prince Zuko, it has indeed been a long time. And I, like you, would be more than happy to return home… but I have never known my brother to regret anything."

Zuko spun around angrily and faced his uncle. "Maybe you don't know him as well as I do! He's my father, and you don't know anything! You're just a lazy, mistrustful old man who has always been jealous of his brother!"

Iroh could only sigh as he realized there was no point in trying to convince his nephew otherwise. He frowned and knew that although he had his doubts about Azula and his brother, he would follow his nephew and be there for him when whatever happens tomorrow happens. He just hoped that what his gut instinct told him was wrong, at least this time, for Zuko's sake.

--

The next day arrived, and she felt herself growing impatient as she waited for the hours to pass. Though her face looked as calm as ever, her eyes moved constantly as she scanned the area around the docks for her brother. He would be arriving soon, and she wanted to get this over with so that she could begin the next phase.

The royal soldiers she had on her ship were standing below in two rows on the pier, and Zuzu and her uncle would have to walk past them in order to board the vessel. Normal passengers, especially members of the royal family, would need no such treatment, and she hoped to raise that red flag in her uncle's mind. Maybe, if she was lucky, Zuzu would notice too and this would go by more smoothly than she hoped.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was in fact really only minutes, she spotted the familiar figure of her uncle, and then her brother as they appeared from the cliffs. She took a deep breath in preparation for the confrontation that was bound to happen, and then watched stoically as the two slowly made their way to her direction.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" Zuko screamed at her, looking ever so like a wounded child.

Years of practice allowed her to brush off his feelings of anger, and she merely turned her back on him and stepped further into the ship.

"As if I have never done that before," she off-handedly stated, before allowing a small smirk to appear on her face. The incompetence of her one soldier had worked so much in her favor; she would have to remember to thank him later.

She heard the sounds of fighting behind her and then a splash, and knew that her brother had easily knocked the remaining soldiers on her ship overboard. She steeled her eyes and then turned around to stare at her angry brother.

"You know, father blames Uncle for the lost at the North Pole," she informed him, giving him a few moments to catch his breath. Then she went in for the kill. "But he considers you a miserable failure," and she waited for the outburst that she knew would come.

Zuko responded predictably with a loud, enraged growl. He then summoned two small streams of fire in his hands, keeping them there so they were like twin flame daggers and then lunged to attack her.

She fell into a fighting stance almost unconsciously and merely waited for him to deal the first strike. Off to the side, she heard her uncle yelling for Zuko to leave, but they both ignored him for there were more pressing matters at hand. Brother and sister were finally reunited once again.

--

"There is nothing left for us in the Fire Nation, Zuko," Iroh informed his nephew who sighed angrily but nodded in response. His eyes were distracted as they stared at the river in front of them; his thoughts were still mulling over what had happened earlier.

The words Azula had thrown at him had hurt him so much, more so because he knew that this time at least, there had been truth in what she had said. His father considered him a failure! And he was, because he had the Avatar in his hands, and then he didn't.

He now needed to capture the Avatar more than ever. He had to restore his honor and show his father that he wasn't a failure, that he was someone who could make his father proud.

Zuko pulled a small knife from his robes, and paused briefly to read the inscription. 'Never give up without a fight,' he recited to himself before reaching up and grabbing his ponytail with one hand. He felt his uncle's approving gaze on him, and with one swift motion, sliced through his hair and in turn, his link with his home country. He handed the knife to his uncle who repeated the action with his top knot.

There was a pause as they both realized the severity of their actions, and then as one, they dropped the symbols of their nationality into the river and watched as the current dragged them away.

They were fugitives now. There would be no turning back.

--

Though there were no visible signs of joy on her face, she wanted to laugh out loud as the ship carried them back into the Fire Nation. Things had gone far better than she had hoped and her father was none the wiser to her intentions. She also had an inkling to who the spies were, and she was going to use this knowledge to her advantage.

Her brother and uncle were now running to the Earth Kingdom where they would be safe for now. She would follow them shortly, but there was something, or rather someone she had to visit first before continuing on with her plans.

Her thoughts pulled her back to earlier that day, and her amusement faded as she found herself running the battle between her and her brother in her mind.

His form had been sloppy and she had easily countered every punch he had thrown. The use of the fire daggers had been creative, but they would have only worked if he had actually managed to hit her. His anger had clouded his judgment and it had almost been laughingly easy to predict his moves. The worse though, was the fact that she hadn't actually had to summon her own fire to fight him. If she had actually wanted to, she could have killed him right there, and he would have been defenseless to have stopped her.

The scary thing for her was that thought _had _crossed her mind, and she was once more reminded of the hold her father had on her; on _both_ of them. If Uncle hadn't stepped in at that point, she wasn't sure if she could have stopped herself and she shuddered at the thought. She gave herself a mental shake and pushed those thoughts away from her mind. She was _not_ her father and she was going to prove it to herself and to anyone else that doubted her.

She sighed and closed her eyes, suddenly feeling tired and very, very old. With his current state, Zuzu would be no match for their father and she needed him to rise to his full potential for her plans to follow through. He needed to find his center, and more importantly, needed to stop trying to live in their father's shadow. It was a dark, cold and cruel place full of nothing but disappointment and pain; she should know, she had been living in it for years. If only he could see past that, strive for something better, then maybe, just maybe, they could be a family once more.

End Chapter 1.

--

Author's notes (This dumb editor thing is starting to annoy me..)

Thanks for the previous reviews! And I hope I didn't confuse anyone too much with this. The story sounds so much better in my head, but as I write it, the story changes and then I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. Which is bad. I'm following the real storyline, but kind of not, and trying to stick to the original character personalities, but at the same time trying to twist some, especially Azula's into something more. I hope I'm not doing a bad job of this. I also had a really hard time trying to explain why Ozai would send Azula on this mission. I hope that his reasoning makes sense somewhat…. Maybe if I ever finish this story I'll know where I am going and I'll rewrite it so that it's better. Sorry


End file.
